Make it count: Day #110

Tuesday, June 30 - Day #110 - AT Hike

Miles Hiked Today - 11.8
Total Miles Hiked on AT - 1535.6/2,193 (70.02%)

Great Barrington (1523.8) to South Mount Wilcox Shelters (1535.6) - tent at South Mount Wilcox Shelters

Total ascent - 2,982’
Total descent - 1,838’

**Rain - Overcast all day. Started raining around 4pm - it has been raining continuously since then (7pm now)

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70% complete with my AT journey! Passing grade - can I stop now? ———— Well - that’s not going to happen. To this day - whenever I’m asked about what I’m most proud of in an interview setting - I will often comment how I never got a “C” or lower throughout my academic career (from grade school through graduate school). The reason I’m most proud of this is because I worked very hard to not be “just average”. Some of you may see this and think - “A’s” and “B’s” are a given - easy-peasy. Well - contrary to what some may think because I’ve largely achieved in academics throughout my life - I have very, very average intelligence (and that might be giving me too much credit). There were so many classes in college that were extremely challenging for me. I had to do everything in my power to not let that “C” ever show up. I remember Concrete Analysis. For whatever reason, I struggled to pick up the concepts in this class. I went into the final on the B/C border. I needed a solid grade to get a B in the class. An A was not possible based on the numbers. Well - I studied non-stop for this final - NON-STOP. Once I thought I knew everything- I studied a couple more days. On the day of the exam - I was never more prepared in my life. When I finished - I knew I got 100% (this is not common on engineering finals). There was nothing on the exam that I questioned. A few weeks later - my report card came. I got an “A” in Concrete Analysis. The instructor was Dr. Jay McGarraugh - the head of the Civil Engineering Department. He was a great guy that I knew well - as I was very involved in the CE Department. He would not have given me an A unless I aced the final (he told me so much)

I tell this story above just to give you a bit of insight into me. And - to also explain why I’m struggling out here on the AT currently. I sometimes push myself too much to try and reach a goal. It’s a blessing and a curse to have this fighting spirit. This trait doesn’t always result in “fun times” or “blissful enjoyment”. It often times results in heavy focus and burn-out. This journey is very difficult for me. I’m pushing myself to my absolute limits - daily. I think I’m hitting that burnout phase. I have to just relax - take my time - and let my body dictate the miles. Because of this - I’ve decided to not really follow a schedule for a while. I’m going to “wing it” - I’ll do what I can. Maybe I’ll have more energy and more fun to boot.

When I went to bed last night - I wasn’t sure if I’d be hiking today or not. I felt completely spent - both physically and mentally. I ended up getting about 9 hours of solid sleep. When I woke - I felt more refreshed. I was still down mentally - but doing good enough to push forward. Sometimes just showing up is half the battle. I shaved, soaked my legs/feet in an Epsom Salt bath, and doctored up my feet. I had time to grab a breakfast sandwich before the shuttle arrived.

I decided to only go about 12 miles today. I needed to break in my new shoes. Plus - I had a heavy pack with my resupply and hurting feet. It was a good call. Right after I got my tent setup at camp - it started raining heavily for 2 hours. I waited the rain out before cooking dinner. It’s now 8:45pm - and I’m just about ready for some sleep. I didn’t see a single person all day and I’m at camp all alone. It’s all good. The group of 9 people took a Zero in Great Barrington - I can always wait up for them if I choose down the road.

I appreciate you following me on my journey - during the good times and bad. I’m going to try and set smaller goals for myself. Shorter segments with some type of reward involved - hopefully this will help. Tomorrow - I booked a hotel room at a lodge that is 17.3 miles away (and only 100 yards off trail). A good day will get me out of the rain mid afternoon - in a dry bed with some good food. Sounds like a nice incentive to me!

Here’s to finding that balance in life. Here’s to finding that 1 thing you can do at an extremely high level - that doesn’t require over-the-top effort. What are you really good at - that comes naturally - and you find joy in doing it. Well - that’s the million dollar question I’ve been searching for my whole life. I don’t know if I’ll ever find the answer - but I’m praying I will some day.

Goodnight from a rainy, self reflecting night in Massachusetts!